


Pick up your pieces.

by screamrevolution



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Rogers, But also, Coffee shops as therapy, How Not to Deal, M/M, Nothing says divulge your feelings like 4am coffee runs, how to deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7883977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamrevolution/pseuds/screamrevolution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What, really? And you choose to tell the coffee girl?"</p><p>There was a long pause between them, broken only by the soft sound of crockery against wood when Steve moved his coffee cup, nervous energy finding a release in the motion. </p><p>"You're the only one that bothered to ask." Steve told her, straightening out in his seat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick up your pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the result of about three hours and the saddest Spotify playlist I could find. Enjoy.

For the third time that month, Steve found himself in the little café tucked a few blocks away from his apartment, a mug of cooling coffee in front of him, largely untouched. There was a warmth about the place he appreciated, and in the early hours of the morning, a peace that was separate from the chaos that he'd woken into. There was never a great need to talk in the café, a fact that bough Steve great comfort, able to spend time decluttering the increasing mess he found his head swimming in. Away from press, and special agents, and SHIELD, and _all of it_.

It seemed that he kept the same ungodly hours as the young girl who always worked the early shift on the counter. Her owlish expression the first time he'd come in had bought him a quiet kind of amusement, chuckling into his latte as she blinked, and the fished a phone out of her apron, a look of wondrous disbelief on her face. Her name tag read Abby, and the first time Steve had the foresight to read it and use her name, he'd earnt a smile so bright he found himself smiling back.

The clink of china at the countertop broke Steve's reverie one particularly cold Thursday, glancing up at Abby behind the counter for a second before he returned to his mug of coffee, nudging at the clean white ceramic with a forefinger. He could feel eyes on him, and a nervous tension had settled over the café, both of its occupants silent, the café's music playing a strange drone in the background. Steve suddenly didn't like the quiet refuge the cafe provided as much.

"I saw what happened the other day." Abby said, finally breaking the silence. She paused for a moment, the courage she'd mustered up to speak failing for a second before she hurriedly spoke again. "With the press. I didn't- I didn't know you were like that."

Steve's jaw flexed and when he looked up at her, there was a fire behind his eyes. He supposed it was only a matter of time before someone would confront him about the now infamous statement he'd given "Like what?"

 

Abby blinked for a second at the sudden aggression, mind ticking over for a second before she pulled a face, equal parts mortified as she was frustrated. "Oh-god, no. I didn’t-. I didn't mean it like that. That came out wrong."

Steve's expression softened somewhat, but Abby could see the wariness in it, and the tension that had settled across his shoulders. "Then how did you mean it?"

"I didn't think you were like me." Abby said quietly, picking at the strings of her apron as she steadied herself. "S'what I meant to say. Wasn't expecting you to come out like that. In public like that, I mean."

The tension across Steve's shoulders faded away slowly as he listened to her explanation, contemplative for a moment before he kicked at the chair opposite him, shifting it across the carpeted floor towards her, open invitation. "Well uh- yeah, in that case, I'm 'that way', yeah. Like you, right?"

Abby smiled a little, nodding as she moved to take the offered chair after a seconds hesitation, previous fretting replaced with a nervous kind of energy that was almost endearing. "Yeah. Yeah, like me. So uh- Look, I don't want to be a pain, but can I uh-"

"Ask me some questions?" Steve finished, smile small but open as he learnt forward a little. "Sure. If you want to."

Abby returned the expression, setting her phone on the table. She was quiet for a long time, suddenly struck dumb in the face of the opportunity in front of her. It wasn't everyday you got to ask a literal icon about something so personal. She took her glasses off, rubbing at the insistently with the hanging drape of her apron, and then set them back on her nose before she finally spoke.

"How'd you know?" She asked, silent only for a split second before she continued. "I mean, you hear a lot of different things from queer people. Did you just wake up one morning and know you were like I did? Or Did you figure it out later?"

Steve's brows came together in thought, and he inclined his head a little. "Well- I mean, it wasn't so much of a sudden fact for me. I just kinda grew into it, I guess."

"I uh-" He paused, cleared his throat. "I had a guy. Before. I guess that's how I knew. 'Cause of him."

Abby's eyes widened a little, and then her expression crumbled in, something like sympathy in her eyes."Do you- Can you talk about him?"

Steve glanced at her for a second, smile shrinking back a little before he nodded, resolute. It had been a year. He could do this now. People needed to know. "Yeah. Yeah, I can. I mean, people have made guesses about us before. About me and Buck.- Cause it was him, was always Barnes."

Abby couldn't help but smile a little, and she nodded for him to continue. Steve was hesitant for a moment, so very unused to telling anyone abut Bucky. He hadn't even told his teammates yet, even if he had a feeling some of them had figured it out already.

A reminiscent little smile curling his lips up. "We grew up together, me and Buck. And I guess it just kind of happened one day, felt like the natural progression of things, y'know? We just fit together. He was teaching me how to dance when I first kissed him, we were only young, probably your age. 'Ladies like a man who can dance' he tells me, though at that point, I didn’t care what ladies really thought of me, I had him. Jerk spent the next half hour trying to teach my deaf ass how to keep time with the music. I'm surprised he wanted to kiss me at all after that, must have stepped on his feet at least a dozen times."

Abby laughed at the image, leaning on a propped up hand. "So, you and him were together through all that?"

Steve nodded slowly, chest constricting at the memory, a hand balling up into a fist at his side,trying to keep a level head. "Yeah, yeah we were. He shipped out and told me not to do anything stupid, but I ended up following him anyway. I couldn't leave- God. I couldn't just- I couldn't let him go like that." He mumbled, blinking a few times to clear his eyes.

"It's okay. You don't have to bring it up if it's not something you like talking about." Abby said, brows furrowing in concern.

Steve shook his head. "No. No, it's okay. People are always telling me its better to talk about things."

"Well, uh. What was he like?" Abby asked, hoping she might redirect the conversation.

Steve cleared his throat a little, eyes ringed red. "Jesus, he was- I don't even know how to describe… He was everything, always. I never- he was always there and he put up with my bullshit, and he laughed at my stupid jokes, and made sure I took care of myself-." He faltered, fingernails digging at his palms in effort to stop the wave of emotion from overwhelming him, breathe hitching.

"I'm sorry- _Shit_. I told myself I wasn't gonna get upset if some asked about Bucky. I just.- I miss him and it's not fair- If I'd just moved a little faster he wouldn't-"

Abby was struck dumb as Steve trailed off, unable to keep to look of utter shock off her face, lips parted a little as she too tried to keep her emotions in check, unsure of what to say.

"It's okay. You're allowed to hurt." She said, quiet in the calm of the cafe.

Steve huffed out a watery little sound, shaking his head, embarrassed. "I shouldn't be. It's been years, for Christ's sake. Decades. It's been decades. I should- God, it shouldn't hurt this much still. I'm sorry- Sorry. I shouldn't be lumping all this on you."

Abby shook her head, vehement. "No, No. I asked, and I'm sorry it upset you, thinking about him."

Steve took in a deep breath in effort to get himself under control, offering the teenager a smile, more of a grimace than anything else. "I've never told anyone about that."

Abby jerked a little, shocked, and awed, even as she tried to lighten the mood a little. "What? Really? And you choose to tell the coffee girl?"

There was a long pause between them, broken only by the soft sound of crockery against wood when Steve moved his coffee cup, nervous energy finding a release in the motion.

"You're the only one that bothered to ask." Steve told her, straightening out in his seat as he started to calm down again.

                                                                                                              --------------

It was months before Abby saw the Captain again, and after a while, she'd given up on looking forward to his visits. She knew from the news he was beyond busy. Something about a Hydra and a Triskelion and a supposedly dead soldier. Nearly a year had passed before Steve returned, but this time he didn't come alone anymore. He seemed lighter somehow, as he lead a dark haired man in for coffee at peak morning rush.

He shot Abby a grin, wide and warm from where he waited in the queue. Her brows furrowed in for a second before she caught sight of the man Steve had in tow, something silver glinting by his left hand, dark hair pulled back off his face in a haphazard kind of way. She gestured to them quickly in the brief break she had between customers.

The responding grin she got from Captain Rogers told her everything she needed to know. From the back of the line, Bucky Barnes gave a disgruntled sound, brows furrowing in as he peered at the girl behind the counter. "You tellin' me you dragged me out here to introduce me to the coffee girl?"

Steve grinned at him, squeezing gently at Bucky's hand where he held it in his own. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

Bucky's expression didn't soften, but something fond crept into his gaze, brushing at Steve's side gently as they waited to be served. "Weirdest little punk I ever did meet."

Steve huffed out a laugh, leaning into him. "I love you too, Buck."

                                                                                                              --------------


End file.
